Is it considered gluttonous to devour story after story after story after story?
I've lived my entire life consuming stories from every format available. Whether that was going to the movie theatre with my dad, watching the latest and greatest sci-fi movie or checking out each new installment of the Magic Tree House series as soon as it hit the shelves of my grade school library, my appetite for storytelling never waned. If anything, it has grown more voracious with time.
As a kid, I loved living in worlds far removed from the one I was forced into. Through my mind's eye, I led multiple lives, engaged in incredible battles, and experienced profound love. Now, as an adult, I find myself yearning for that same sensation, viewing it as a means of escape.
"Anybody with artistic ambitions is always trying to reconnect with the way they saw things as a child." -Tim Burton
I guess living each day solely to escape into another world might seem stupid. On some basic level, it is.
I grew up a fangirl, dreaming of ideals that would never exist (writing One Direction fan fiction fed into this more than I would care to admit). There is something beautiful about being a part of an incredibly niche community of people who care about the same fictional story as yourself. While you may never talk irl, it feels human and what life should be? Whether it's the same musician, book series, television show, or any other form of art, it's a connection. There are others who share a deep and specific love for this very specific thing, and I suppose it engenders a sense of intimacy.
I want my life to have the same kind of magic I've always found in the stories I grew up with. It's hard to put into words how it feels when you're coming down from the high of an amazing story and have to return to real life. Since it's not easy to explain, it leaves me with a feeling of being alone—or maybe not loneliness exactly, but more like an emotional hangover. Andddddd there I go again, trying to describe a feeling I just said I couldn't describe.
Think about the best story you've ever heard, especially one with a sad or shocking ending. Chances are, you've felt something similar to what I feel almost every time I finish a movie, book, TV show, and so on.
So. I find myself searching for ways to bring back that magic into my everyday existence. This is most likely the root of my having too many hobbies and even more unfinished projects (my crochet basket is an absolute disaster and the pile of clothes I swear I am going to fix is growing way too big). It also would probably explain my insatiable need to see new places and experience new things. It's me trying to make the ordinary feel a little less ordinary and the mundane a bit more special.
It goes without saying but I know I can't live in a neverending state of fantasy, but I have to believe there's a way to balance the magic of stories with the realities of life. Perhaps, in those moments when the two worlds coincide, that's where the true magic happens.
That may have been the most cliche, cringiest sentence I've ever written. So, let's focus on what I meant by that. Essentially, I want to find a way to blend a story that is not my own with this life I get to live. I cannot make myself believe that I have to exchange one for the other, so I won't.
H
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